Beyond Grades: How Speaking English Can Help Children Build Confidence

Confidence should not be taken for granted. The OECD’s Survey on Social and Emotional Skills 2023, the largest international study of these skills among 10- and 15-year-olds, links skills such as assertiveness, sociability and stress resistance to better grades, higher life satisfaction and less test and class anxiety.

The same research also carries a warning. In earlier rounds, 10-year-olds reported higher social and emotional skills than 15-year-olds in almost every area, with the drop steeper for girls. In several of the cities taking part, self-reported skills were lower in 2023 than before the pandemic. World Bank analysts suggest this may be linked to declining youth mental health and heavier use of smartphones and social media.

Speaking itself is under strain. In the UK, the charity Speech and Language UK estimates that at least 1.9 million children, about one in five, are behind in speaking and understanding words, the highest figure it has recorded. In response to this kind of concern, England’s Oracy Education Commission called in 2024 for speaking and listening to become the “fourth R” of education, alongside reading, writing and arithmetic.

Words and self-esteem are closely linked. The Oxford Language Report, published by Oxford University Press with contributions from researchers at the University of Oxford’s Department of Education, surveyed more than 1,300 UK teachers. Over 80% said a limited vocabulary affects pupils’ self-esteem. A follow-up report surveyed more than 3,500 teachers, and 80% of them said vocabulary difficulties lower pupils’ self-esteem and raise the risk of poor behaviour. A child who lacks the words, in any language, is a child who learns to stay quiet. Giving children the words, and the chance to use them, is one of the most practical ways to improve their self-worth and self-esteem.

The message for parents is simple. A child’s ability to speak up is a skill in its own right, and it can be trained.

The best-known advantages of studying a foreign language are usually described as cognitive or academic achievements, however some of the most valuable advantages are emotional. Speaking a new language is, by definition, speaking before you feel ready. Every sentence is a small risk: the wrong word, a strange sound, a pause. When that risk ends well, a child collects proof that trying is safe. Psychologists call these “mastery experiences”, and they are one of the strongest sources of self-belief.

The opposite also happens. Language researchers have described “foreign language anxiety” since the 1980s, and Stephen Krashen’s well-known “affective filter” idea holds that a nervous learner takes in less of what they hear. Fear does not only feel bad, it blocks learning.

There is a social upside too. A University of Chicago study published in Psychological Science tested 72 children aged 4 to 6 on a game that required seeing things from another person’s point of view. Children who were simply exposed to another language chose correctly 76% of the time, almost the same as bilingual children (77%). The authors suggest that hearing several languages trains children to think about what others mean, a core skill of empathy and of healthy language and communication development.

In other words, learning to speak English is never only about English. Done well, it is practice in being brave, being understood and understanding others.

Many parents worry that children now talk to screens more than to people. The numbers explain why. According to the 2025 Common Sense Census, children aged 8 and under spend about 2.5 hours a day on screens, and 40% have their own tablet by age 2. Over the same period, daily reading among 5- to 8-year-olds has fallen from 64% to 52% since 2017.

Screens are not the enemy of language learning. Cartoons, songs and apps all give children useful exposure to English. The problem is that most screen time is passive. A child can watch hours of English videos without ever having to say a word out loud, which is exactly the part that builds confidence.

We asked teachers about the single most common mistake parents make when helping with English at home. More than 300 wrote an answer, and two habits came up again and again: correcting every small error, and answering for the child before they have had time to think for themselves.

Both come from love. Nobody enjoys watching their child struggle for a word. But teachers describe the same effect from both: the child learns that speaking is risky, and that someone else will do it for them. “The most common mistake is overcorrecting,” said one Novakid teacher. “Parents focus too much on grammar and mistakes, instead of letting their child enjoy speaking English naturally. Confidence comes first, then accuracy.”

Another teacher warned that when parents hover too much, children become dependent and hesitant, and “start to think ‘What if I’m wrong?’”

Research on praise points the same way. In classic experiments by psychologists Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck (1998), children praised for being clever tended to avoid harder tasks afterwards, while those praised for effort kept trying. A child who is told “well done for trying that sentence” has a reason to try the next one.

What teachers suggest instead is simple. Wait a few seconds longer than feels comfortable. If the sentence is wrong, repeat it back correctly in a natural way instead of saying “no”. For example: if your child says “Yesterday I go park”, you can answer “Oh, you went to the park yesterday? What did you do there?” The message received is “I understood you”, not “you got it wrong”.

One teacher’s advice for parents who do not speak English themselves stands out: you do not need to be a teacher, just a cheerleader. Ask your child to teach you the words they learned in class. “Turning the child into the teacher boosts their confidence immensely and takes the pressure off the parent.”

When we asked teachers which home activities really make a difference, one answer stood far above the rest: everyday conversation in English.